Friday, January 4, 2013

2013: Of Pinterest and Pollock

2013. Whoa. Cue Momentous Music or whatever seems appropriate for the dawning of a new year.

Ok, the dawning of a New Year Camiolo-style, aka 4 days later than the ACTUAL dawning of the New Year, with some Appert-style worrying about not having started on time thrown in.

I am determined (not resolved, that would be doomed to failure) to get my rear in gear on the blog front and actually keep writing this year. I have some things planned…

I know, it’s been a month…but Advent and chemo and tragedy in Connecticut and school and cookies and trees and family love and family avoidance and stomach bug collectively conspired to leave me wordless.

I so aspire to be all Pinteresty, all lovely little thumbnails of creativity in tidy rows of inspiration.

(imagine lines of lovely things here, all ice cream sodas and hand-batiked saris and shelving for powder rooms made out of antique farm equipment and little girl dresses woven from vintage grosgrain ribbon. Pretty, right? Enjoy the tranquil beauty...)

Ok, come on back now.
Unfortunately, most days my brain feels like this, all Jackson Pollocky:

Jackson Pollock was the Man.  (from

So maybe in 2013 I will just try to go with the Pollock-like flow.

Ok, I know I won’t. I know I will still try endlessly to get my life, my brain, my world into neat Pinteresty lines and soft-lit photos. But maybe this year I can try to be ok with the Jackson Pollock (who honestly I do love), and celebrate that that is just how it is in my head.

One of the best things I ever read comes from Gretchen Rubin’s The Happiness Project. She talks about resolving to Be Gretchen…that is, to just be ok with being who she is. She lives in NYC and does NOT spend her days munching on exotic cuisine or wandering through galleries and all that NYC has to offer, and she felt unsettled by her lack of metropolitan-ness, but finally realized that it was OK TO BE GRETCHEN, a homebody who loves her neighborhood and is generally satisfied to stay close to home with her husband and kids. Not only is it ok, it makes her happy, and as such becomes an important life principle.

Maybe this year I can try to get PAST pondering that insight to that point of being ok with NOT being Aretha Franklin (ok, that is going to be hard), ok with NOT being outgoing or organized or full of chutzpah, with loving fashion but generally ending up in yoga pants and a t-shirt. As a side idea, maybe I can really MAKE TIME for those things that I love, even if they are not huge or earth shattering, things like painting or visiting historic sites or just going for a walk. MAYBE if I spend less time bewailing my un-Martha-Stewartness and just be my neurotic, creative self, the year will be be happier in spite of the Medical Elephant that is hogging our beat-up couch.

How great would it be for my kids to have a mom who isn’t always trying to be a better version of someone else?

except Aretha. It would still be cool
to have your mom be Aretha.

So while I still feel a little bit like 2013 is a freezing cold pool that I only want to get into one toe at a time (or, more accurately, kind of just want to stare at from the warmth of a beach chair), I do have some thought that maybe, one step at a time, and with some special things planned (happy anticipation is awesomely therapeutic), we can keep moving forward.

Heck, maybe eventually I will actually join Pinterest and line up Jackson Pollock images I like. Hah!

So Happy New year, friends…and  anybody else have any New Year Determinations? Random love of Jackson Pollock? A beach chair?

1 comment:

  1. Happy New Year.

    My determination is small, to pick up rubbish on the hill where I walk my dog instead of complaining about it. It's a lovely hill, an Iron age fort on top, quarries from all ages and ruined lime kilns, limestone wild flowers, it was the scene of riots when there were attempts to fence it off in 1906, I have so far collected 2 plastic bags and 3 bottle tops.

    And I counter your Pollock with Klee ... I love Klee, it looks as though it means something but I don't know what. And he does strange anxious faces like James used to draw. And I like the arches deserting their posts and walking away.

    I'm looking forward to your writing plans.

    Sarah xxx