I am tempted, some days, to say “May” like Jerry Seinfeld used to say “Newman”, this month of double awareness. I don’t know why some days the weight of this gets to me, that NOW WE NEED TO BE AWARE OF NF AND BRAIN TUMORS. I can’t remember the last day I was NOT aware, so, what’s with May?
Especially since so many of my friends are in both of these communities, social networking is overflowing with awareness facts, pictures, graphics, etc. I find that inspiring, motivational, depressing, and overwhelming all at the same time.
See why it is hard for me to even pick out a paint color? I am perpetually conflicted.
But I had a thought today while running, once I got to a quiet side street where I was not just thinking “yikes, another landscape truck? Dodge! Dodge!” (meaning my action, not the truck brand). Today is gorgeous. Spectacular. Right now it’s about 63 degrees and brilliantly sunny, the forsythia are blooming and the flowering trees are flowering, I could hear birds chirping and squirrels scratching at trees (I double checked, I had a moment of worrying that it might be a larger woodland creature, but no, just a squirrel). It was GORGEOUS. I don’t like running, and today I really felt tired, but the beauty of the day just hugged me.
|Youngest child & dog, walking ON TOP of 15 inches of snow. Cold. Cold cold cold.|
|my viburnum after storm #493|
|my viburnum today, buds galore!|
In Jersey—and much of the northeast, I figure-- May is a month of rebirth, of everything finally emerging from winter and bringing relief and hope that summer really is around the corner. Winter (especially this year) is so long and so hard, it makes us appreciate so much more when spring finally comes. The air just smells good today. The birds sound so happy (the winter was so quiet). I am so happy that May is finally here!
|By August the sedum this owl is guarding will be taller than the owl.|
Ok, that sounds maudlin, but I really don’t mean it that way. If both months were in February I would have to hide under my bed. Having May be the awareness month for both of these things that have truly changed everything about our family is in some ways a blessing. The beauty of this month can be a hopeful lens through which to present and understand the realities of brain tumors and NF.