Finding the Toolbox When Life Hits the Fan

I am not sure why I am surprised.

I should have known that as soon as I began to really focus on trying to put into words my attempts at Zen, all sorts of things in my life would just hit the fan. Thankfully, today things are ok medically—but for some weird cosmic reason, I can’t seem to have EVERYONE and everything in my life chill at the same time.

Urp.

Challenge is like a Mothra sized mosquito buzzing around my life these days. 

I listened to a podcast on Monday (Oprah Super Soul Conversations) in which two Sandy Hook parents talked about how they have dealt with the aftermath of that terrible event. The mom referenced her “toolbox”—the things she goes to on days when life seems too difficult to bear.

I have been thinking about that term/idea a lot these last few days, as I struggle to balance my own personal train on its precarious track.  I realized that is kind of what I’ve been trying to do—to assemble a toolbox.

Of course, much like my ACTUAL toolbox, it’s kind of a mess. Reorganizing our ancient toolbox is on my to-do list. But in the last 2 weeks I have been really, really challenged to dig into my Zen Toolbox to try and get through some difficult moments/situations/days.

To clarify (OH UNIVERSE) I never prayed for practice sessions with my focused work on not being a psycho. Ugh.  I already had cheerful bloggy stuff PLANNED.

Note to self, NEVER PLAN.

I love planning. Planning is my favorite. My lists have lists.

Ugh.

I am the poster person for “the best laid plans…”

Anyway, I am needing to dig deep these days. I just have to acknowledge that:

 a) it’s ok if I am not on my A-Game when hard stuff swarms about. Just continuing to move right along has to be enough. No one is harder on me than I am.  If the papers don’t get graded for a few days, that’s ok. If the sheets get changed one day later than I planned, that’s ok. If the cheerful blog about The Happiness Project remains in draft form, that’s no biggie. Chill already on the A-Game business.

b) Sometimes using the tiniest tool is a good step. Yoga helps me. So I find a 10 minute yoga on YouTube because focusing longer than that seems too daunting. Podcasts help—so I listen to Kind World, a 5 minute podcast about acts of kindness. Prayer helps—I read one meditation or scripture quote. Being outside helps—so I sit on my deck for 5 minutes and just breathe. Small tools sometimes can at least move towards getting the job done.

c) These moments are when I need my people. So grateful for my people.

d) if all else fails, Pumpkin spice English muffins with real butter and maple syrup are very therapeutic (wipes crumbs off keyboard). I am hoarding my last bag of Cadbury.  

Just keep movin’ right along.

I’m telling myself that today.  What kinds of things are in your toolbox? When it’s just so hard to do the things that help—what do you do?

Peace—and if you can spare us a prayer/dance by the light of the moon/good thought, I’d appreciate it.

*still, I am giving myself a gold star for actually publishing SOMETHING today--a little something, but at least that goal is met. :)